VASHELLE TO & VANANSON LAM
Who are you?
Vashelle: I’m a San Franciscos local, born and raised. Moved around (LA, Oakland, went to school in Oakland, Alameda, and then went back SF), overall I went to 9 different schools. But I still loved everything about SF. My heart moved onto Oakland as well.
Vananson: just a simple dude trying to be happy. Nothing too crazy, just want to make a living and do whatever I can to help in any situation. Just trying to be happy. Vashelle was a barista and wedding planner. I had a food truck and made gourmet corn dogs called STICKS. We had a lot of off season, my friend brian who is our business partner...we were drinking one day and he asked if we were open to opening a cafe. He brought the idea and we just ran with it. The week later we found the first shop in Richmond over 4 years ago since October.
What does it mean to be strong?
Vashelle: Know that things will be ok eventually. What has helped recently is all that’s going on is that we’re doing something good, we’re bringing good to people and the neighborhood, everyone we’ve met at the cafe. Hearing how happy you guys are when you are there, it makes me feel good and strong with what I’m doing. It feels like we’re making a difference. When I think of strength is doing something for a reason, the reason we’re doing is a good thing.
Vananson: Emotions in check, for instance. This whole Corona thing, you just got to be able to strong enough to handle any situation that’s thrown at you. You just have to know that there’s hope. We got to be strong for our baristas mentally. Still be able to be who we are (us) as Rise&Grind for the community. To do what we do and be the same, not knowing if we can open up the next day. Be kind and if someone needs something, we give them. Being able to be “us” and not changing who we are.
Vashelle: Everything we do affects the other person, as we’re married. Being together, it’s more than selling a cup of coffee, I would never be able to do this by myself and change their lives a certain way. We have other people’s kids talking to us. All of this gives us strength -- the meaning of strength is this feeling that we’ve made a difference.
How do you give people strength?
Vananson: You give them hope with a cup of coffee. It’s a distraction to talk to us a little bit even if they are avoiding what’s going on. They can have a conversation with us and feel less stressed.
How do you find strength?
Vashelle: My life goal is to be great-great-great-great grandmother. In order to do that, I need my husband with me. We need each other to be healthy and present. I feel strength through Van, no matter how mad he gets sometimes, we both know that each of us deserves something and we both know what we want. We find that from each other. People ask us how do you guys live and work each other, I tell them that we don’t really talk to each other at work. I like having him around. At the Mission vs. Richmond, it feels a little empty without him, even if it’s 3 hours.
Vananson: The best 3 hours of my life. I understand how it is working with your SO, 3 years is good, but 4th year we’re spending more time together, we’re seeing each other, I don’t get those 3 hours alone (he plays basketball). She gets up all in my face and I don’t need that. Sometimes I sleep in the bathroom, I will sleep in the bathtub. It is nice to have that break from each other, we need it. I find strength in Vashelle as she knows how to do a lot of stuff that I don’t. I kind of lean on her for help, when I need help. It might not sound like it because I ask her indirectly, but the little stuff I don’t know I make her do it. It’s comforting know I’m working with her, she makes me want to do better. I don’t want to fail. I just want to be successful with what I do. I want to be great. She does that. I don’t want to disappoint her at any time. If I think I’m not doing something right or failing, I just turn to her for advice for what I want and don’t want to hear, either way, it makes me better.
Vashelle: I do most of the work.
In what ways do you wish you could be stronger?
Vashelle: I wish I can be stronger physically. This is where Vananson comes in and says, “ You should’ve worked out today”. I do like the pep talk that my best friend who give me a pep talk about all the good things she likes about me. In terms of strength, I would say my self-esteem would make a difference. Sometimes you might not feel like you’re beautiful enough or not doing well, and you just need someone to tell you this and that you’re doing fine, you’re doing great.
Vananson: For me I wish I was mentally stronger. I overthink a lot. I would stress myself out. I wish I could just be mentally strong to keep me mentally sane, so I don’t overthink it. In any situation I overthink it because I want to think ahead, so that whatever does happen that I had anticipated, I can solve it right away. I wish I could just solve something right then rather than go through all of the stress ahead of time.
Where do you think your strengths lie?
Vashelle: Vananson tells me I care more about people than I should. I worry too much about everyone else, put them before me. I do more for my family than I should because I am the youngest out of everyone. I care, that I have a good heart, that I want to be great great grandmother and be good to the world.
Vananson: I think I’m pretty confident, I don’t care what people think about me. I really don’t care. I’m not cocky but I’m confident enough to know -- like Kobe, his confidence level is what I strive for. I feel like I’m that way. If I’m out there playing basketball and he was in front of me, and he asks who is going to win, and I would say me. I have that confidence that tells me nothing will stop me from doing what I want to do. My strength is to have confidence and not care about what people think about me.
Vashelle: His strength --- he is such a slob! He is what he said about not caring and having the confidence he can succeed. When he really wants to do something, he is really able to do it. When he dances, he is so funny looking he doesn’t care. Even if his clothes don’t match.
Vananson: Her strength is that she’s really smart. The way she thinks. She would think of situations and figure it out than anyone else. It might be the easiest way but she’d find a solution to it. She might not give herself credit or I don’t tell her at all, but that’s her strength. She is really smart. She can solve problems really easily.